Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Big As A House And Exhausted

yep, that's me these days. of course, my oh so lovely husband tells me that i'm not huge...i just look like i'm having a baby. but, despite this being the fourth time i've been to this point in a pregnancy, i still can't get over the unwelcome and unsolicited comments from complete strangers. one woman just simply pronounced, "you're huge! that must be a gigantic baby in there." and another told me that i looked as if i could 'go' at any minute. when i calmly (i tried, i swear i tried to smile) informed her that actually i had about eight weeks or so to go, she then said, "well, is it just one then? not twins?" i assured her that it was indeed just one and before i had to get out of that aisle of the store with her (before i let out an audible scream or moan) she told me then for certain it must be "one huge baby for me to be that big." gee, thanks. you think i don't know what i look like? trust me. i shower with this body. i put clothing on this body. heck, i even try to sleep with this watermelon located somewhere close to where my waist and hips used to be located. so, the, me has been coming up with things to say to people when they feel the need to comment. the first was that i should start to sob without abandon and tell them that actually i'm not pregnant and that this is some undiagnosed mystery mass that is growing inside my abdomen that doctors can't figure out what it is or how to stop it and that actually they do believe i will physically burst soon as i seem to be filling with helium that is coming from some unknown origin. as a result of it's chemical properties i also have to wear weights in my shoes to keep from floating up into the atmosphere and that i must implement a voice changing device because it has changed my voice to resemble something that registers about 5 octaves above alvin and his rodent friends. for the second option i just thought about retorting with, "so when are you due?" and quickly walking away. not that i would really say either of these things to a complete stranger..ok, i don't think i would. but i have been rather surprised and dumbfounded by what has been coming out of my mouth since these hormones have taken hold. take for example a few weeks ago when i was in the burger king drive thru. things were going rather slowly and there was this lady behind me, also with a mini van full of kids. so, i pull up to the little box that magically produces a voice to take my order and let them know what we would like. when i was finished, i pulled up a tad but there was not enough room for the lady behind me to completely get up to the magical order taking box. in a few seconds the kids wanted to know why the car was moving. um, yeah. i'd like to know the same thing. so i looked in the rear view mirror and the lady behind me was physically attached to my bumper and her van was pushing mine forward. so i figured it must have been a mistake and edged forward slightly. just a few seconds later it happened again. so, i edged forward once again but was nearing within inches the bumper of the car in front of me. and sure enough, it happened a third time. and then...little old me...that would usually sit back and just fume to myself about this (are you ready for this?)...opened my door and stepped out of my van. without a second thought. i then proceeded to ask the lady behind me if she would please stop bumping me from behind because she had now done it three times. and then she informed me that it was 'ok' because she hadn't done it three had only been twice. she said that she was trying to put in her order and her foot slipped off the brake pedal and that it wouldn't happen again. i then retorted, "well just put it in park would ya!" and got back in my van. when my husband came home from work later i told him about it and he said, "you got out of the van and you said that to her?" i responded, "well, yeah, she bumped me," just as calm as you please. to which he was just a little astounded and said that i would never do something like that if i wasn't pregnant. i hadn't thought about that before then but he was right. i'm pregnant and i'm tired and attitude is swelling with my abdomen. i am trying to watch it and keep my mouth shut, but it's not coming easily. when someone as sarcastic as i am normally anyway loses much of their inhibitions about shooting off their can be dangerous. and well, it is lent after all. :) so i'm trying to look before i leap so to speak and keep my random outbursts and sudden crying jags in check. and well, i wouldn't be able to do any of this without alot of help from alot of very good friends. not to mention all of their prayers but they have been so good to the angry, tired pregnant lady in other ways too. one friend called up out of the blue the other week and told me that within the hour she would be dropping off a big pot of chicken noodle soup for us. another friend sewed up a whole slew of blue knights outfits for me and she doesn't even have a son in the program. and then yesterday another wonderful friend let me cry on her shoulder for a bit and then let me...and my three kids...hang out at her house for hours in between activities so that i didn't have to drive the half hour home again (i had already forgotten my purse and been back there once) or entertain all of my kids in the car for three hours. these lovely ladies...and of course my wonderful, delightful, awesome husband (is that enough adjectives honey?)...are what are keeping me sane right now. so, here's to keeping my mouth shut...and a good nap. have a great day everybody. it's sunny and about sixty degrees here. who needs schoolwork? the kids can just play outside all day right?


Blogger Kelly said...

:-) Hugs my friend!

10:06 AM

Anonymous amy said...

people say the darndest things...

I like your comebacks, gave me a good laugh.

7:12 AM


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