My Day Will Come
i spend alot of time on tuesdays in my van. i left at 8:30 this morning and just got home around 3:30. i drive places...drop people off...run errands with smaller people in tow while those bigger people are at classes...then i pick up those bigger people...we eat lunch (usually in the car)...and then we go to more classes...and finally home. did i mention how much time i spend in my van on tuesdays? anyway, if said other people are occupied, that gives me alot of time to think. today i had much on my mind. why do i continue to do this? why do i keep it up? this particular "it" being homeschooling and the whole ball of wax that goes with it. over the years i've had plenty of homeschooling comrades who have chosen to go the school route instead yet why do i stay? first thought, because i'm as stubborn as the day is long, sometimes to a fault. yes, that is a reason i'm sure. but, then as if as a gift from God...it came to me. because my day will come. i've been told this more times than i can count by friends and acquaintances who have children older than mine. and i must admit, every time in the past it has made me angry. while in the thick of it i don't want to hear, "your day will come, just wait." i'm not one for waiting. i never have been. i even read a book one time about the blessing of waiting. guess it didn't sink in. but today, in the surprising stillness of my van, i was at peace knowing my time will come.
despite the noise and activity constantly in my ear, my home and my life...my day will come when it's all quiet and i can hear myself think.
despite all of the running i do hither and yon right now...my day will come when i can choose to leisurely stay at home instead of rushing somebody off to an activity with everybody else packed in the car.
despite never having a minute totally to myself now...my day will come when i can pray or read or nap or just sit as long as i want to.
despite now feeling like the house is never clean, the dishes are always dirty and the laundry pile is bigger than i...my day will come when there will be nobody to mess the house up but me and my husband, where i'll be cooking just for two and it will take a week for the hamper to fill.
despite now feeling like my days are filled with first grade readers, third grade math, sixth grade history and a toddler undoing it all...my day will come when i can spend a leisurely morning with my Bible and a cup of tea.
and despite all of this, my day will come when i cry because my house, the chairs at my kitchen table and my laundry hamper are empty. in fact, there's a tear in my eye (ok, and on my cheek too) right now as i write this. when your entrenched in the here and now, and sometimes it doesn't look to good, the tears come for different reasons. but right now, when the youngest is napping, the next one is at a friends and the oldest two are happily entranced in new books...i can get nostalgic. my oldest is just shy of twelve. seems just yesterday i was bringing her home from the hospital, not at all sure of what to with a kid. her brother, just shy of nine is not far behind. my tiny little girl is already six and my baby will be two in just a few short weeks. in this time i am reminded that i do this not simply because i am educating them, but because i am building a family. and my day will come when i can pray in silence, and read books upon books, and sleep all night long and eat without reprimanding and volunteer as much as i like. but right now they are the day God has given me. and i will be thankful. yes, even joyful. and not long for "my day" but rejoice in this one.