Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!!!

a happy new year to all yins and yours (i did live close to west virginia for a few years). i hope you are enjoying your first day of the year. this morning we went to mass to celebrate the solemnity of mary the mother of God and then we just stayed around the house, ate a little bit, napped a little bit, ate a little bit...well, you see a pattern. it's the first day of the new year and of course, that gets me thinking about the one we have just left. now mind you, i usually don't try to get as sappy as the vh1 year end montage that seems to continuously play green day's "time of your life" or whatever the heck the trendy, sums up everybody's feelings supposedly ballad of the latter half of the year was, but this past year has been a humdinger. i didn't really get thinking about it until the phone rang unexpectedly around 8pm last night and it was a friend i haven't spoken to since august. she used to live just down the block, we did everything together, our kids (especially our oldest daughters) were inseparable and so on and so forth. her family moved to join a Catholic community in arkansas this past summer and their leaving was a bit of a strained sort of weirdness. we have exchanged a few random e-mails since then but nothing substantial. we had a truly blessed almost two hour conversation. we talked about our lives, our families, our faith, our struggles and our blessings. we talked about how our lives have changed and what we think God is doing in each of our lives. it was amazing and i got off of the phone with her, not knowing when i would be able speak to her again, but feeling like the most blessed person in the world at that moment. so many things have happened and changed in the past year. it has been a year of losing touch with old friends and making new ones. it has been a year of things not happening that i had planned on and things happening that were above and beyond my wildest dreams. this year has been difficult...it has been strained...it has been blessed. i don't know how to explain it other than the peace that passes all understanding. the turmoil of the past year, and that which continues for us, would have normally drove me over the edge, but i am at peace. i am truly at peace. i don't know what it is besides i have started entering into lifes events without struggle...against Him...Him who knows all, sees all and takes care of all. and that even includes me, no matter how unworthy i may feel. i knew this all along but for some reason, lately, by His grace i have been able to do it. i know it may not last forever and i could slip into old habits at a moment's notice but right now...i'll take it...and be thankful. things aren't great by any stretch, but He is in control and there is peace. blessed peace and assurance that He is in control and i am not. and that is where my phone conversation led me. that time of true faith sharing with an old friend was the greatest gift. for her to be able to share her journey with me and vice versa. i am so thankful. it was such a great capstone to the year that seemed so out of my control. but isn't that great? to lose control and realize that it's because you are allowing Him to take control...even just a little bit. in no way have i surrendered everything to Him like i should, but the little bit i have given up is sheer bliss. may this year find you closer to Him than you have been before and more thankful for everything...everything He gives you. it's all gift, even if the wrapping isn't pretty and it wasn't on your wish list...it's all gift.


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